Banned for introducing 'FAT' into this intellectual back and forth. 

Banned for going back and forth so fast that you beat greased lightning buttered on both sides to the finish line.

Banned 'cause that's how I get there before I get there. 

Banned with extreem tardiness for changeing your avatar.

Banned for tardy, lethargic and tortoise-like behaviour while dawdling along so slowly that even South-Siberian racing maggots wearing dirty great big army boots thought they were fast in comparison.

banned for booting up

Banned for going barefoot in the park while wearing skin-tight spandex shorts to jog in

Banned for wearing M.C. Hammer pants before they were a fashion fad, and for still wearing them.

Banned for thinking a string mankini is a fashion statement at the beach, when in fact it is waaaaay too revealing and makes you look like a goose [Aus for looking silly] for wearing it in public. 

I mean, who wants to see that much butt in one place?  

You do.   And this is why you're banned, because your obsession with the cheeks was so consuming that the posterior sort alone wouldn't suffice, and the viewing wouldn't suffice, no, you had to become a Mogul and create your own online empire of front-butt porn that wrecked my computer with some cheeky virus just last week.  I want my members' fee back sir!

banned for getting cheeky

Banned for simple bans.

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banned for bringing out the lines

Banned for not toeing the line and giving it a bit of a tickle.... rather, you were playing footsies under the table with Mrs Palmer, her four daughters and gay son, who sadly has put on too much weight and cannot join in the frivolities for fear of rolling down the driveway, into the street and damaging oncoming traffic.

Banned for being concerned about traffic, and for wearing jams.