Banned for falling off the wagon and into oncoming traffic consisting of a few old nags, some donkeys and ass or two.

Banned for hoof marks on your cheeky stuff.

Banned for bending over behind the donkey and enticing hoof marks on your derriere.

Banned  for mentioning his dairy hair on a PG rated forum.

Banned for confusing his hairy dare with his dairy pair... and stop chasing that milkmaid around the milking shed with your intentions all exposed like an over-exuberant flasher's nether region.

Oh, and banned for being on a PG-rated forum without your mother's knowledge or consent.

banned for mocking those that need their parents

Banned for where's your momma, and did she say you could go online where adults gather to do adult-speak without the supervision of a net-nanny.

Banned because the net-nannys are ubiquitous, and they are watching.

Banned for having a net nanny in your bedroom to make sure you go to sleep when momma says... no looking at Playboys under the covers with a torch for you, young man.

Banned for nannies under the bed instead of the requisite monsters.

banned for not appreciating wet nannies

Banned for thinking that wet nannies are playthings who can be trifled with when the missus and kids are asleep.

Banned for trifling.

Banned for rifling instead of trifling and shooting the neighbours above-ground pool all full of holes.