Banned for my flying tomato was traded in for a flying pomegranate that can double as a submarine; a car; a truck when necessary, and as a regular piece of fruit when the relevant transport authorities come 'round wanting registration fees, etc.

Also banned for 'fixing' the brakes on my flying tomato so it ended up going SPLAT upon landing.

Banned for gooey ink splotches.

Banned for encouraging Master Bates to put gooey splotches on my brand-new thingwybob after I'd paid an arm and a leg for it to be delivered direct from the warehouse blotch and blemish free

Banned for every other ban.

Banned for every ban between every other ban and then some.... including those in the fine print and others written in invisible ink to confuse blind orators and hearing impaired buglers.

Banned for banning in the ban thread and trying to remember who banned who, what, when but not necessarily where nor how the ban was banned by persons known and otherwise banned for inexplicable reasons in a thread that hosts unlikely banners who ban the banners for banning here and not over there where the real banned persons are quietly waiting for the ink to dry.

Banned for being the party of the third part, who banned the party of the first part without knowing the party of the second part, who knew both the party of the first part and the party of the fourth part, who didn't know any of the parties but swears he saw the party of the first part slipping a brown paper bag full of money under the table to the party of the second part, who suddenly had a brand new car the drive the party of the fifth part around to check up on his business acquaintance selling their wares on the street to any party of any part so long as they got plenty of filthy lucre to spend.

Banned for having a ban party without inviting fellow banners, and hanging banners, but not hanging fellow banners.

Banned for being rather dramatic

I like to keep things subtle   

Banned for being found guilty in the third degree, second degree, first degree and every other degree to the nth part of nuts. 

Banned for proclaiming innocence in the 1st degree while crossing your fingers behind your back and hoping like hell that nobody saw the CCTV footage of the dirty deed to which most dirty old men would be proud to admit to if it gave them notoriety and exposure in social circles where brazen acts are vigourously applauded by peers of the realm.

Banned because that's not where Degree is to be applicated.

Banned for applicated in the 1st degree, with a double jeopardy indemnity clause so you can't appeal the ban on grounds of having been banned before under similar circumstances.... similar, as in near enough... is not good enough.

Banned for not defending your position but instead moving it around the corner where the defense can't see because of the blinders you put on the corners. 

banned for being blinded by the light and being revved up