banned for trying to rid us of the critics

Banned for critiquing bans.

When can I be unbanned  

Banned for wanting your pre-existing bans lifted.

Banned for bans existing before the time for bans, which is now.

Banned for getting the ban timeline all wrong and trying to reinvent the wheel.

Banned from using alternate timelines as a poor excuse of using someone else's ideas that you do not own the rights to. Double banned because the original timeline is always WAY better and alternate timelines ruin everything.

Banned for wearing ill-prescribed spectacles and not seeing that I was referring to the original timeline that began when Moses was a lad.

banned for going back to stone tablets that had terrible battery power

Banned for not knowing that those tablets ran on solar power.... and because they were so far ahead of their time.... Lunar Power as well.

Banned for losing your tablet for 12 days in the passenger seat, merely because it matched your upholstry.

Banned for I do not take tablets in the car... vehicle.  I take 'em at home with a glass of water.  

Banned for eating stone while thinking you are seeing Moses. I am not sure what is in your water   

banned for playing with the water and spiking it

Banned for dangling your feet in the toilet because you heard that your mum dabbed a bit of toilet water behind her ears and on her neck.