Banned for blanking the other thing in public while wearing a mini skirt and high heels

banned for heeling up high

Banned for feeling like a heel but having no sole.

Banned for sole possession of everything that doesn't work and hiding in your back pocket with built in holes.

Banned for sole possession of nothing that fell through the holes in yer back pocket and got picked up by hobos, whose gain of bugger all is your loss of sod all and even less.

banned for having ten toes and fingers

Banned cos I only have eight fingers.... and two thumbs.

As fer the toes, that be my secret.

banned for making secret your toes that you thought were roses

Banned for that's an easy mistake to make.... unlike yours, my feet smell more like roses than stale cheese.

banned for having a poor sense of smell

Banned for footy blue cheese.

Banned for thinking toe jam and licking your lips over sucking the moist curd through a sweaty sock.

My sense of smell is great.  It's the memory that fails me.... like foot odour could very well remind me of roses during a memory lapse.

Banned. I'll think of something later.

Banned by Biblical proportions for being so distracted by the thought of toe jam oozing through sweaty socks that you need more time for an appropriate response.

banned for using a Bible