Banned for hook line and stinker.

banned for setting up the line

Banned for assuming I use a toilet.

(certified hillbilly here)

Banned for making people shy away cos of the pong on your shoes.

Banned for mooning crescent wise then regurgitating the left overs.

Here's my Avatar:

Banned for forcing me to learn that there is such a thing as "Melodic Metal".

Banned for being unnecessarily heavy on Melodic Metal and being completely out of tune with life cos you took a Walk on the Wild Side to skip Social Studies while at school.

Banned for insisting that Melodic Metal is something other than an oxymoron.  With, admittedly, somewhat cool costuming.

Banned for not knowing that there is no such thing as un-melodic metal, or any other lind of misic without melody.  There is, however, disharmonic music, some of which is metal.

banned for ruining my paycheck with bills

Melodic Metal? 

Banned for blaming Bill, who even in his worst attempts did not cause you any kind of payment or financial penalty.  However, Bill did suggest that you should pay more for pleasures from ladies of the night than most because you're a tight-arsed skinflint who even tries to hide money in the holes in his socks to avoid payment,

Banned for linguistic malfeasance with the lights on facing the cap'n's favorite lady of the evening clad in burlap.

banned for gray dower scratching sacks for outfits

Banned for sacking the sack maker because he wore redesigned company sacks to work so's his missus didn't have  extra laundry on wash days.

banned for missing out on laundry day