Banned for gnawing on leftovers.

banned for leaving your jaws on the floor

Banned for limping into port on a plastic peg leg. For shame!   

Banned for leaving your peg leg in the last port and hobbling into the tavern one one leg and wearing a holey old shoe that lets in sea water on one side and lets out recycled rum on the other.

Banned for run off piddlies down your peg leg while holding open the man hole cover to collect it for recycling.

Banned for seeing a chalk picture of an open manhole on the road and walking around it so you didn't fall in

Banned for walking around the chalk and missing the real missing manhole cover. Splat!

Banned for melting down the real manhole cover and selling it for scrap, then spending the proceeds on more chalk.

banned for not supporting his chalk dependency 

Banned for missing the final play and losing a fortune on your fave hopscotch player.

Banned for sidewalk art done in the lesser medium of chalk, rather than the greater medium of puff-paint.

Banned 'cause the Magic Dragons Union might protest the use of Puff in the painting of sidewalks.

Banned for Puff The Magic Faggot, who lived by the sea....

....he had so many troubles he didn't know whether to stand or squat to pee.

BTW: Roy Buchanan, the greatest guitarist to ever walk this earth, used those words in a little ditty between main songs

Banned for a non sequitur.