Banned for peg legs made from kevlar and, depending on which hand you use for TP, a chrome hook with velvet cuffs. 

Banned because your Kevlar could not save you from getting taken advantage of by hookers with teflon-coated tranquilizer darts.

Banned for hookers are not generally known for tranquiliser darts and 'blow guns' as they are more conversant with sucking.

And Uvah, banned for TP replacement with a hand, hooked or otherwise.

banned for falling for that hook line and stinker

Banned for putting the stinker on the hook and smelling up the place.

Banned for nose jobs.

banned for sticking your nose where it don't belong

Banned for following your nose and leaving a trail of boogers to find your way back home again

banned for not appreciating the usage of an item that many discard as useless

Banned for picking up said boogers and saving them for other uses on other days... because, to you, they are not useless and may serve other purposes that ordinary folk like myself may not recognise... or appreciate.

Banned for disingenuous appreciation of The Royal Boogeyman Clan founded down under by a kevlar peg legged, chrome hooked right handed hand me down hook with velvet cuffs fitted with Aussie love by an anonymous donor known as the cap'n. 

Banned for six or more consecutive bans that were without mention of esculents.

Banned for esculents......how's that?

Banned for thinking YOU were banned.  (You mentioned spam, the food, five bans back, and are therefor not banned from banning)

Banned for looking into the historical to justify a now ban because of a non-ban.  Also for incorrectly spelling therefore in a bracketed sentence in said justification.