banned for nose explosions 

Banned for that's technically nasal frothing.... which is similar to when you froth at the mouth when you're watching the swimsuit section of the Miss Universe pageant on TV.

banned for going down a simple road as TV

Banned for there are two roads you can go by, but you always figure it's too late to change the road you're on.

banned for changing lanes between roads

Banned cos I don't drive anymore.... 'less it's a rat up a drainpipe

Banned for draining the rat's nest next to the swamp with extreme prejudice.

banned to the extremes

Banned for holes in your socks that lets the pong of fermented toe jam permeate the atmosphere pervasively.

Banned for pongin' without the pingin' to go wit it.

Banned for who stole my strait jacket?

banned for going strait to the coffee bin

Banned for crushing coffee beans by holding them down with your thumb and using this   

Banned for holding down teabags with you thumb and hitting them with this   because you thought you saw little black critters moving around in them.

banned for banhammers