Banned for having the guts to mention Florence's innyrds.

banned for not holding down the fort

Banned 'cause forts sound like soft versions of flatulence as opposed to farts that sound hard accompanied by malicious oderiferous manifestations of fog tinted light and dark brown. 

Banned cos forts are scaled down castles but no moat.

banned for moating around

Banned for losing your virginity in the moat behind the bike sheds at high school

Banned for solicitous edumakation

Banned for telling tales out of school, then using chalk to write them on the pavement.

banned for outlining your life on the ground

Banned for gettin 'grounded.

Banned for parental-like tendencies and locking Ryat in the bathroom for going out to play when he should have been doing his chores.

banned for making me do my chores

Banned for not swabbing the deck.

Banned fer not swabbin' tha galley n' lettin; tha cook slip on a bit o' salted beef fat.

Banned for that too.