Banned for getting Lincoln's head stuck in a tire tread.

Banned because I'm tired of tyres wrongly being spelt tires in internet places I frequent to see the Queen's English speeled all proper like.

banned for wanting a single set of spelling rules and not appreciating the many flavors of spelling in the world of engrish

Banned for spelling English with an Asian accent and confusing the spell-checker with an unusual flavour.  It's like giving somebody Peking Duck and calling it Chop Suey ..... it's just NOT done!!!!

Banned for chjop sticks, Moo Goo Gai Panners, first down and ten, second up and zero, Fuji and sushi, clam bakes, crab cakes and blue fin tuna in your back pocket. 

banned for using the 'h' sound for the letter 'j'

Banned for falling down the rabbit hole with the letters H and J.

Banned for leaving out the 'IK'

Banned for alphabetical allegations alleging artistic aspirations after argumentative and acrimonious abominations were ascribed as alchemy instead.

banned for attempting to using a single letter from the alphabet and ignoring the other 25

Banned by Roman Numerals Inc.

Banned for hiding down the rabbit hole with Miss Bugsy and ignoring the other letters of the alphabet that I did use to form words.

Banned for an antiquated numerical system that mimics letters of the alphabet to add, subtract and multiply.

banned for double quote banning

Banned for non-recognition of the free license to double/triple ban whenever I like.

banned for even mentioning the Penguin