Banned for dishin' on a sink aboard a sinkless sinking ship what sunk for lack of a dish washer.

banned for passing the blame on to the dishes

Banned for ducking outta sight so your guilt was missed when the blame was being handed out.

Banned for naughty thoughts.

Banned for force feeding my mind's thought processes with constant and repetitious ideas of a seriously dubious nature.

banned for being fun and free wheeling 

Banned for viewing the world through rose coloured glasses and seeing red everywhere you look.

Banned for rainbow rumors. 

Banned for being chained to the wheel and going 'round and 'round while everybody else is going straight up the motorway doing 90 in the shade.

banned for moving so slow in the fast lane

Banned for trailing umbrellas to make the shade at 110.

Banned for using a parachute to slow down your entry when the local supermarket has your fav cereal on special for 50c

Banned for spelling color like a limey.

Banned for you're the one spelling it incorrectly... along with so many other words where letters are either omitted or replaced with others: like S for Z., for example.

BTW, the English were spelling English correctly long before the US was a twinkle in Columbus' eye... and the cherry tree got cut down.

So banned for spelling aluminium like a Yank and calling a willy a John Thomas.  It's simply not the Queen's English, is it.

Which reminds me of the Cockney soldier in the trenches during WWI over in France.  As is often with Cockneys, he was speaking to a mate in rhyming slang when a stiff upper lip officer sternly asked: "Do you not know the King's English, private?"

"Sir, I sure 'opes 'he is.  After all, I am over 'ere fighting for the bastard."

Band for not being a proud card-carrying member of the Centre  for Americanized Spelling of the English language.