Banned for seeing jelly wrestling advertised and going to see if it was jello.

Me!  I would've gone to see other jubbly bits.

Banned for licorice flavored club subs.

Banned for riding on Donald Duck's coattails and knitting a wing wong for a goose's bridle out of coconut fibre.

banned for bringing in the brown coats

Banned for choosing blue coats over red coats and developing a French accent to impress those ladies who fantasise over European men with rather large bank accounts.

banned for mocking ben franklin

Banned for choosing green over gold and over-spending at the knock shop.

Banned 'cause there ain't no such aminal.

banned for animal lives matter

Banned for it would matter if anti-matter got out for the day to stretch its legs... and if anti-mater stayed out too long and flexed its muscles a bit, then probably nothing would matter cos it'd all be dead matter, wouldn't it.

Banned 'cause the bang would be so big nobody would notice until the kitchen sink falls on their heads.

banned for throwing in the kitchen sink

Banned for what are you doing away from the kitchen sink... get back to them damned dishes, you slacker. 

banned for assumption of slackness 

Banned for you're obviously not back at the kitchen sink doing dishes yet, so pick up the pace, slacker, and get stuck into the job at hand.... the fechen' dishes.