i am not illiterate nor stupid nor an idiot

Published on January 5, 2008 By danielost In Current Events

i have trouble with spelling, and i haven't written anything for over 20 years. at least not until i started writing on here. yes this is a bad excuse, but i will use it.

i do not pretend to be able to spell. i am the first to admit it.

i will not be silenced because people want me to be.

i have clinical depression. no the meds don't work on me.

i also have a personality disorder it means i hate being told what to do even if i know i should do it.

but i can read goodly enough to get by. if there is a word i have problems with i can look it up to find out what it means.

i have failed at everything i try. except driving taxi. but at least i keep trying.

i live with my dad have done so for 4 years because he said he needed help. my two brothers either wouldn't or couldn't do it. it was my biggest mistake moving here because my father is/was abusive. i knew that before i moved here.

no i will not abandon him. no i will not make it to heaven. that idea ended 44 years and 7 months ago. the day i was born.

the reason is because i remember my first thought. "SO THIS IS LIFE!!!!!!!!" and that was the way the thought came out. i remember seeing the shadows of the doctors and nurses. because i remember this, i know that there was something before life. a conses(spch)(ie a spirit) but not life.

but i do my best to do the best i can with everything i do.

my mom told me the first time i tried to hold a girls hand i was two days old. it was the girl in the crib next to mine in the hospital. lol.

i know some of you will flame me for what i have written but i don't care. i am just tired of people i disagree with telling me that i am stupid because i don't agree with them.

like in the last blog, will not name the person, i disagreed with her on which was more important and because i disagreed with her she called me the two names that i used in the title.

there have been a few others on here who have done this too. again no names.

with the exception of gene i do not think i have called any one stupid or an idiot because they disagree with me. if i have i am sorry.

when i make a mistake and i am sure i have made one. i admit it.

Comments (Page 1)

Jewbu

on Jan 05, 2008

Dear Daniel,

Don't let this be your end, rather see it as a true beginning.

Be well.

Texas Wahine

on Jan 05, 2008

Daniel,

I don't think people have a problem with your spelling so much as your stubborn ignorance.

You have been through a lot in your life, but so have most people. No one is silencing you. You have to accept that people will react to what you put out there. You can either a) deal with it or

change.

You don't have to change who you are, but you have to understand that you throw some weird shit out there and people are going to question it and form opinions of you based on it.

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

You don't have to change who you are, but you have to understand that you throw some weird shit out there and people are going to question it and form opinions of you based on it.

your right i through a lot of weird stuff out there. usually to make others think.

sometimes i have missed someones point.

but everyone says or writes weird stuff. everyone on the planet is crazy to some extent if they weren't they would all like the same things.

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

You have been through a lot in your life, but so have most people. No one is silencing you. You have to accept that people will react to what you put out there. You can either a) deal with it or

change.

no there is a third option which i did for over 15 years and that was hide from it all.

kingbee

on Jan 05, 2008

with the exception of gene i do not think i have called any one stupid or an idiot

don't seem to bother you at all. if anything, i get the impression you're pleased with yourself for having called him names.

what's good enough for him ain't good enough for you?

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

don't seem to bother you at all. if anything, i get the impression you're pleased with yourself for having called him names.

what's good enough for him ain't good enough for you?

no i try to reframe from calling him names but some of the stuff he says. usually after he has called me an idiot.

like i said he is a special case. nor did i say i was perfect. i am not trying to be Christ. i am just trying to be me.

Cedarbird

on Jan 05, 2008

I don't really know you very well, Daniel, so I can't be sure, but I don't think you should take what people here say personally. I mean, if we're not picking on one person than we're picking on someone else. Everyone has been called names. That's just life.

Take heart, friend, you're not alone!

ThinkAloud

on Jan 05, 2008

Take heart, friend, you're not alone!

That is a great advice Daniel. Another thing you should know ... (You dont like people telling you that ... i know ) we all learn ALL the time from life and from others ... try doing the same thing. Think positive and you can overcome all kinds of life's problems.

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

Another thing you should know ... (You dont like people telling you that ... i know ) we all learn ALL the time from life and from others ... try doing the same thing.

i know this i try to learn at least one thing every year lol.

Cedarbird

on Jan 05, 2008

i know this i try to learn at least one thing every year lol.

That's more than I learn!

Draginol

on Jan 05, 2008

You got black listed because you were being obnoxious.

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

Did I mention full of self-pity, excuses, and blame?

i don't think you had to mention any of this. i do know what my problems are. and i try to deal with them.

i almost never take my problems out on other people. i just need to air them sometimes.

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

but you seem to think yours are worse than anyone else's

who doesn't

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

to escape accountability

nope

danielost

on Jan 05, 2008

certainly to shirk any personal responsibility you bear for your current condition of ignorance.

again no. i do not try to pull the splinter out without knowing about the three or four beams in my eye.

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