banned for not being proud of my achievement to teach my socks how to dance

Banned for such an achievement is NOT noteworthy and should be disciplined most vehemently because you do not possess the proper credentials to operate a dance school, either in the backroom or your bedroom... which your neighbours say is predominantly reserved for horizontal dancing due to the primal moaning and groaning each night.

BTW, your neighbours should be banned for not knowing all that moaning and groaning is actually caused by you while bending over to remove your shoes and socks before getting into bed.

Banned for this being my first post!!

banned for going here first

Banned for coming here first, second and third.... not to mention being usually late and tardy like there's gum on your shoe.

banned for not realizing that i work for a living

Banned for not working from home during this uncertain time when sausages can suddenly become rissoles overnight.

banned for not knowing what i do for a living

Banned for parking your delivery truck in a no parking zone where old farts like me ride our mobility scooters and pop wheelies to impress the old spinsters watching for the most daring stunt.

banned for needing to do crazy tricks to impress the ladies

Banned for watching on and taking notes for future reference.... like when you too are and old fart.

banned for assuming i will ever get old

Banned for thinking you won't succumb to the inevitable and become all wrinkled and withered and wake up 'stiff' every morning but not where it always used to be.

banned for not thinking that i may have found the fountain of youth

Banned for the only fountain you know is when you go to the gents and pee up the wall.