Banned for betting yer last buck on a 'sure-fire winner' that ran dead last in a two horse race.

banned for beating the dead horse into fertilizer

Banned for so much horse shit and not fertilising the roses.

banned for scoffing at the neighbors for their attempts to beautify the neighborhood

Banned for drawing the short straw and having to go to the hardware store to ask for a long weight.

Banned for drawing. 

Banned for hogging all the crayons and leaving me a blunt pencil with the rubber missing.

banned for rubberizing all the pens

Banned for penning letters to your local politicians to complain about blunt pencils because Uvah stole all the crayons and keeps them in a box under his bed along with his porn stash and silky-feel rubber gloves for those very intimate moments when privacy is paramount and the cats get kicked outside in the cold to forage in the snow.

Banned for snow. Don't want none.   

Banned for don't want 'none' must mean you must want some.

banned by some but not all

Banned by all and then some... plus the others who were a litte late to register for membership but early enough to sign the declaration.

banned for such a definitive statement

Banned for accusing me of being definite when I'm less positive and procrastinate regularly