banned for drug references

or kids imagination, whichever 

Banned for reading between the lines of songs to find hidden verses with suspect meanings and an entire new chorus of the three little pigs and why the big bad wolf could only blow two of them.

Banned for wolfing down your food. Upchuck so others can have some.

Banned for feeding your offspring seagull-style, unless you regurgetated a stolen bag of Doritos for them in which case you're banned for choosing cool ranch.

banned for propagating politics   

Banned for thinking Marx made sense.

banned for thinking Trump/Hillary/Bernie/(insert your favorite politician here) made sense

Banned for denigrating Groucho and his brothers while espousing the Stooges Three and other purveyors of comedic situations... and where does one purchase a wing wong for a goose's bridle?

banned for going to the animal house to look for a mate

Banned 'cause aminals do their thing without permission from the Oligarchs in charge of the pink and blue polka dotted rounded corners of the White House masquerading as an outhouse. 

banned for hating on the oligarchs in office, they've been there since the dawn of time acting that way, leave them alone

Banned for leaving devices within reach.

banned for being a hobbit

Banned for being a hoggit and keeping all the dessert to yourself and going to church on sundaes.

banned for letting the twits twitter themselves into oblivion