Banned 'cause my recliner was taken over by my fat cat Mr. Fidge.

Banned for fat cats and door mats.

banned for pet nachos and wild futons 

Banned for putting yer futon on the gas and going over the speed limit.

Banned for obeying speed limits, yield signs, and sins that say "No through traffic on red."

Banned for racing around the forums without permission.

banned for being the forum police

Banned for arrested development.

Banned for developing arrest strategies for speeding Klingons and alien proctologists who have telescopes trained on Uranus.

Banned 'cause Nept-tune's was already occupied by the Feds.

Banned because the Feds do what they're told, and the redneck mafia is the ones what tell 'em.

banned for bending the necks so far that they turn red

Banned for red tailed, duck billed, anorexic worms. 

banned for trying to worm away from your ban

Banned for going fishing with worms and coming back with slugs.

Oh well, crumbed slugs for dinner tonight.... they're not bad with a bit of BBQ sauce and an onion.