Banned for not knowing which direction heaven is in relation to hell

Banned for making jokes without wearing a purple pinstripe suit and toting a big frick'n revolver around to the sound of your own maniacal laughter while you attempt to enact your diabolical schemes.

Banned for even knowing that I have a purple pin-striped suit... which I happen to wear on special occasions that occur on days that end with AY.

Banned for 31 and 30 and 28 and sometimes a 29 thrown in.

Banned for numerical idiocyncracies and high-end monthly portions known as dates to those not going out to hopefully get laid.

banned for laying fruit 

Banned for laying in the lair on a bed of fruit and getting its juices flowing... talk about crushing the grapes to make wine.

banned for not getting any cheese with that wine

Banned for lack of lasagna to go with the wine and cheese and antipasto and fresh baked Italian bread and...and...drool!  

Banned for your preoccupation with food.... there are organs other than the stomach.

banned for being such an organist 

Banned for not being able to get the finest tunes from your organ cos you're too preoccupied with fiddling around.

Banned for fiddling with the diddly when Oscar only wanted the little did and not the bigger did as his dly wasn't small enough to accommodate the dippy part of the larger dly.

Banned for mentioning Oscar's diddly and his preoccupation with looking in the mirror and getting diddly envy from seeing his own reflection.

banned for noxious fumes