banned for using unnatural fibers for cooking your tamales 

Banned for secreting unnatural fibres to use as a deterrent against dedicated anti-tamales protesters.

banned for using monkeys to make your burritos 

Banned for using monkey poo to hold your brick BBQ together.

banned for not enjoying the sweet sweet smell of monkey poo wafting over your food

Banned for the kettle calling the pot black.... at least I didn't sit inside the monkey enclosure to eat dinner.

banned for getting the kettle involved with pot

Banned for trying to breed kettles from pots n' pans.

banned for mixing with the silverware 

Banned for using an item of cutlery to pick your nose.

banned for not knowing the joy of getting those hard to reach boogers 

Banned for reaching so far that 'grey matter' was the result of your in-depth booger removal..

banned for not appreciating the cleanness of my mind

Banned for incorrectly spelling cleanliness and showing the dirty thoughts within your mind to be alive and well.

banned for mocking my grammar