banned for dropping the mic and hearing only in monolog 

Banned for delivering a monologue that was too long, too loud and generally off-topic in every sense of the word and why is there no accounting for taste at a wine and cheese festival in a monastery where the nuns will get none of that but some of the other?

Banned 'cause nuns mean none......none of this that and especially the other thing.

banned for mocking someone's strongly held religious beliefs 

Banned for not seeing past the end of your nose, where mighty and wondrous things occur, during the day and the middle of the night, and why do the birds chirp more freely when it's mating season and love is on the wing?

banned for inverse opinions that assume that some cannot see past the end of their nose

Banned for taking exception to hilarious comments regarding your snoze and whether or not you can see past the end of it even on a clear day, let alone during a 'pea souper' that grounds all air traffic and did you hear about the pilot who invented a plane with the cockpit up the back cos he'd never heard of planes reversing into mountains?

Banned for all those reasons I haven't thunk up yet.

banned for a poorly creative mind

Banned because the long and the short of it were never correctly measured, and thus the width and breadth were not considered as being important measurements, which is why Weight Watchers encourages its members to have Jenny Craig moments every morning before breakfast and why isn't porridge considered a fair means of weight loss?

Banned for creating the ruler in two flavors. SAE never done nuthin' to nobody whilst Metric kicked butt.

Banned for seeing distances in technicolor and dancing the tango in the purple rain.

Banned for deci-decafying everything unsubjectively quantifiable and disregarding the long hundred and it's offspring as obsolete.

Banned for elongated words and dirty talk regarding The 100 and why can't I wait for the next season to begin?

banned by the snerts and other unintelligent creatures