Banned forinsinuating that geothermal disturbances are responsible for flatulence

Banned for flatulence only comes from curried cap'ns.

banned for grammaristic behavior 

Arrrh, but no.... not since meself an uvver cap'ns wivvin me sphere found these 'ere inboard n' outboard moters wot git us goin faster 'n ever.

Nah, them days o' bendin' o'er in front tha sails at tha crack 0' dawn after a night o' curried cabbage, well they be o'er now us 'aves these Mercury n' Evinrudes on 'and.

So banned fer tryin' ta bring vile n' guttural practices inta proceedin's wot 'aves mor decorum than that.

banned for trying to institute talk like a pirate ban 

Argh!

Avast ye mateys......batton down da hatches......hoist da mainsil......square da jib an' all dat otha stuff. BANNED! Ya scalliwags!

Banned fer words wot means mutiny.  Now get ye-self set ter take a long walk off of a short plank... and thar'll be no rubber ducky to 'elp keep ye afloat. No, aaarrgghhh!!!  I 'aves a spare anchor I ken fro ye.

banned for rubber duckies 

Banned for bathtime pleasures you surely should have left way back in your childhood... like those rubber duckies; that battered old battleship, the USS Glug Glug; the 'pink torpedo' you sank her with, not to mention your insistence that there's unexplained aquatic disturbances with all those bubbles that noticably keep rising to the surface.

Banned for flavored bath water.

banned for purchasing cowboy bubble bath

Banned for getting into a way too hot cowboy bubble bath and getting out with a Rawhide.

Banned for returning to the old west. Probably because the new one sucks.

Banned for thinking the East is any better... at least the North has Canada for a neighbour,

Banned for duck soup.